To wed or not to wed
|
|
There was a time in China when a bride, who might have been 16 years old, didn’t see her betrothed’s face until his anxious hands removed her silken red veil on their wedding night. Back then, only the head of a household could choose whom and when he would wed ¨C the marriages of all other family members were arranged. Some years later, despite the advent of gender equality, early, obligatory weddings remained the norm. During the “cultural revolution” (1966-1976), dressed in military attire, both clutching the “little red book,” the affianced would proclaim their love and loyalty in front of an imposing portrait of the Great Helmsman. These days, wealthy Chinese urbanites are doing no such thing. As karaoke bars sprout up on seemingly every street, and the Internet connects people to an infinite number of “friends,” many young adults eschew the idea of marriage, at least until they’ve reached an older age. It’s not that youngsters today are stubbornly opposed to marriage, or that they want to be eternal bachelors or spinsters. “In my case, I haven’t met the right person,” says Wang Linye, a 23-year-old journalist in Beijing. “Actually, there are so many reasons why people are getting married later that it’s impossible to pinpoint one main factor.” With China’s new free market ideology, people are quickly becoming used to the idea of choice. This generation seeks excellence in everything, from stockings to sports cars to spouses, and its members have no qualms about exploring their options before making any decision. In that environment, wealth naturally translates into superiority. “People of my parents’ age didn’t pay too much heed to a potential partner’s economic condition, because the economic gap in society was small,” says Linye, continuing, “If two people had a favorable attitude towards each other, they would fall in love and marry. Nowadays, there are huge economic gaps, and to a young woman looking to marry a guy, salary and family background are prime considerations. She expects a house and car, and thinks nothing of rejecting a suitor who cannot provide them. Girls like to keep up with the Joneses in this regard.¡± The other side of the golden coin reads like this: many female urbanites no longer expect to depend on men for financial support. In days gone by, as long as a man could put enough mianbao on the table, his wife was happy to stay at home, look after the children, and mend his stinking socks. Not anymore, says Xu Fei, a 28-year-old desk editor in Beijing, “Women of my parents’ generation were less financially independent than they are nowadays. Women today are no longer potential housewives relying on their husbands for a living. We can earn our own bread, and live an independent, relatively affluent lifestyle. Why should we marry as early as our parents?” |